My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
barbara walters just said penis...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize