i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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