yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
