dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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