Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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