Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
