brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
