I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
