I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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