I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
