He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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