haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
