Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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