The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
