On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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