can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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