i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
