jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is Oprah even human
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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