Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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