even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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