remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
