As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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