if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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