They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize