The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have grass duct taped all over my body
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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