is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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