I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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