dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
