Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
