he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
