He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
