People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So apparently I’m into choking now
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
