im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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