that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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