I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
