sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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