How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
