so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
