We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
