I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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