Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
