Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
