Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
