In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Say something about gay babies.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
