so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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