Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
