I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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