was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Rumble strips road head = magical
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
