I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
