i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im calling her cock vulture from now on
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
