let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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