the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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