idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
