Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
