If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
