Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
