A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I will pee on everything he values.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
