remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
