That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Drake has all the answers
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
