I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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