So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
