Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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