We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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