when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
