Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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