put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
