either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Someone came in the potted fern
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
